What Message Does Your Drink Order Send?

What you drink says a lot. Whether you’re at clubs in DC or the local bar, what you’re holding says a lot about who you are and how you’re seen.

You could keep reading and avoid looking like a douche… Or you could say, “F*** it. I’m a grown man and I’ll drink my Pina Colada right here, in front of everyone!”

Amaretto Sour

You just turned 21, or you have a fake ID.

Jager Bombs

You’re out with the boys, looking to forget something, and probably will.

There’ll def be some fist pumping and high-fiving.

You’re a 22-year-old freshmen.

Vodka & Cranberry

BORING!

You probably approached the bartender like a deer in headlights asking, “what kind of drinks do you have here?” while looking at a fully stocked bar.

Long Island

You want to get as hammered as possible off one drink.

You probably won’t tip your bartender.

You’ll probably ask them to make it “a strong island”.

Old Fashioned

You probably throw around words like “mixology”.

Douche.

Cosmo

You were too young to catch Sex in the City the first time around and are now catching up on the reruns on TBS.

Straight Vodka

You probably have a drinking problem and at least one DUI.

Bud Light

You drove at least 30 minutes to get to this club from a town nobody’s heard of.

You may live in a trailer and possibly had a baby when you were in high school.

Tequila

You’re down to get hammered… or get the girl you want to sleep with hammered.

It’s the closest thing you can get to a roofie without getting arrested.

If you ask for it chilled then you’re a p*ssy too.

Kir Royal (Champagne and Chambord

You spend your days riding a pole for creepy businessmen at the strip club by the airport.

Probably the lunch shift.

Wine (without a meal)

You’re a middle-aged mom out on the town.

You’re trying to act ‘classy’ while snubbing those around you who are CLEARLY not as well-to-do as you.

Afterall, you shop at Ann Taylor.

White Zinfandel

The Kool-Aid of wine.

You probably have a box of white zin in your fridge you were pounding during your pre game.

You probably got sick of the box and decided to take the bag out and squeeze it in your mouth,

Beer (girls)

You think drinking beer makes you look like ‘one of the guys’, cool, and fun.

It worked. The guys think you’re one of them – a stank burping fool.

Hennessy, Hypnotiq

You let rap music influence your tastes; you wish you had a set of gold teeth.

You may wear like to wear Fubu, Timbs and sunglasses in the club.

You definitely just came from dinner at Applebee’s.

Jack (girls)

You look dirty

You may not have showered today.

You have a tramp stamp and want to look hard-core.

Bloody Mary

You had a rough night of drinking and will probably do it again tonight.

PBR

Hipster Alert!

You think you’re being ‘ironically’ funny by growing a moustache, wearing skinny jeans and rocking a floppy hat.

You either have no job or are a pretend DJ.

Captain & Coke

You are cocky, pop your collar and your parents pay your rent.

Sex on the Beach, Pina Colada, Apple Martini

Guys – You’re going home alone and probably have a tab at Red Lobster.

Girls – You can’t handle your liquor and will be puking these rainbow concoctions out in no time.

Martini

You’re trying to be sophisticated like James Bond.

You don’t really know what’s in it and how drunk you’re gonna get but man will you look sharp!

Kamikaze

Because this is the only shot you have ever heard of.