The Worst Places You Can Wind Up After a Night Out in DC

By Peach in Get in Style
Monday, June 23, 2014, 12:48pm. (Updated: 6/30/14 at 8:48pm) Add comments
We’ve all had those nights where you go out with the best of intentions…
I’m not going to drink ‘too’ much, I have to work tomorrow, I have that marathon to run, or I’m meeting my parents for brunch
Cut to, winding up in an undisclosed basement in Centreville, a strip club in Baltimore, the slammer or worse.  We know it happens to the best of us, so let’s commiserate on some of the worst places party goers (not you of course- wink wink) can wind up after a night in the nation’s capital.

The Suburbs After Party

The Worst Places You Can Wind Up After a Night Out in DC

Nothing like waking up in the butt crack Northern Virginia.  Seems like most after parties wind up somewhere way too far south or north of DC.  You come out of your after party haze, like where the hell am I? Siri? Google Maps? Yellow Cab?  There are kids outside playing in the neighboring yard and there you are stumbling out of a Centreville basement with the rest of the zombies.  Keep it classy!

 

Baltimore Strip Club

 Baltimore Strip Clubs

This is one area that Baltimore excels, there’s Score’s, Larry Flynt’s Hustler, well you dirty boys know them all by memory.  It all sounded like a great idea until the sun comes up and you’re broke and in Baltimore, even the strippers have gone to bed, and your ride home will be a true test of your manhood.

 

Honey Pig

Honey Pig DC

Damn you 24 hours! Korean BBQ sometimes sounds like a good idea when you’ve had a few too many, but then you wake up ten pounds fatter, and somehow your hair and clothes are covered in a sticky layer of grease, just like your insides.

 

The Streets of DC Walk O’ Shame

 The Worst Places You Can Wind Up After a Night Out in DC

We’ve all done this victory lap. But perhaps no other city in the country is the walk of shame, more shameful than the nation’s capital. Why? Because you cannot avoid the DC political type, suited up, conservative office types rushing to work, and yuppie mommies with baby carriages giving you disapproving looks, all this on the mean streets of DC.  For comparison’s sake, walk of shame in NYC or LA, not so bad, there’s tons more freaks and geeks to blend in with.

 

The Drunk Tank

 The Worst Places You Can Wind Up After a Night Out in DC

Your night out antics sometimes wind up with a good old-fashioned trip to the po po.  Quite possibly the worst place on earth to end your night is the police station, so don’t drink and drive and quit it with the bar brawls because this one is the gift that keeps on giving- Mug shots!

 

Your Ex’s Bed

 The Worst Places You Can Wind Up After a Night Out in DC

How did this happen? You check your phone. Drunken texting will get you every time.  Good luck sneaking out before that stage five clinger wakes up!

 

The Hospital

The Worst Places You Can Wind Up After a Night Out in DC

You definitely shouldn’t have worn those 5-inch heels out while trying to twerk at Echostage.  But hopefully you looked good doing it, before the fall…

 

NYC

The Worst Places You Can Wind Up After a Night Out in DC

Washingtonians are lucky to be able to easily take a car, bus, train, or short flight to New York City.  But you know what’s not easy? – Deciding to head to the big apple mid way through your night out in DC and realizing it’s a long way home. It always seems like a great idea at the time…

 

The Tow Company

The Worst Places You Can Wind Up After a Night Out in DC 

DC loves to tow cars, they really really enjoy ticketing and towing, so if you don’t obey the signs and the times, you’re likely to wind up in a really seedy area on DC begging for your car back. Or they might just ticket it and tow it to another street, which will have you walking aimlessly around the district like, Dude Where’s My Car?

 

Downtown Chinatown

 The Worst Places You Can Wind Up After a Night Out in DC

There’s that one Chinese restaurant in Chinatown that will keep serving you vodka red bulls after hours until you’re peeing yourself.  So, that fried rice that was supposed to sober you up and end your evening out, turns into drunken rocket fuel, and then any of the previous scenarios will be geared into action.

 Rock stars have their groupies and today’s mega DJs are not immune to the wave of girls and boys trying to get in the pants of their favorite musical artists. To play the groupie game correctly, you better go in with some good insight in their personal lives. Is your favorite DJ married, engaged, or flying solo?
You better find out before you get a stiletto up your butt from the real women in these DJ’s lives. Check out their relationship status here then proceed with your infatuation, you sickos!

 

Tiësto

Tiesto DC

For those of you who want to “Just Be” with Tiësto, now’s your chance. Until early 2006, Tiësto was in a relationship with Dutch model Monique Spronk, two years later, a Dutch newspaper announced that Tiësto and his girlfriend Stacey Blokzijl were going to get married on October 10, 2008 in Cartagena, Colombia. He proposed to her in December 2007 while they were visiting Mauritius. But then, Tiësto cancelled his wedding because he claimed to have a busy schedule and too little time for the preparations, which led to Blokzijl breaking off the engagement.

Tiësto is now an ordained minister, so that we can marry a winning couple in the city most infamous for extraordinary weddings, Las Vegas! You can also catch Tiesto LIVE at the Thank You Festival June 26, 2014 at Merriweather Post Pavillion.

Steve Aoki

 Steve Aoki DC

The champagne spraying, crowd surfing DJ has been engaged to Australian model Tiernan Cowling since 2010. Currently the electro house musician, Grammy nominated record producer and the founder of Dim Mak Records is still engaged.

You can check her out in action here, in a really weird video and Steve Aoki LIVE at Echostage June 21, 2014 in DC.

Armin

 Armin DC

On 18 September 2009, Van Buuren married Erika van Thiel, with whom he had been together for nine years. Their daughter Fenna was born in July 2011, and their son Remy in July 2013. Wonder who the DJ was at the wedding. Sorry ladies this one’s off the market.

Need more proof, watch the wedding tape:

 

Calvin Harris

 Calvin Harris DC

According to Forbes, Harris was the highest paid DJ of 2013, grossing an estimated $46 million- WOW! Plus, it looks like he’s just as lucky in love, as the affection between Calvin Harris and Rita Ora runs deep!

In an issue of Elle UK, the beautiful blonde Brit is confessed that her current and only love made her feel something she’s never experienced before, love….awe…

But will it last? Apparently she doesn’t like his music.

 

Deamau5

 Deadmau5 DC

In September 2012, Deadmau5 (Zimmerman) began dating Kat Von D. On December 15, 2012, Zimmerman proposed to Von D via Twitter, and they announced that they would marry in August 2013 with an aquatic-themed wedding. They both have several matching tattoos, including the numbers “289m3d22h” on both of their arms, which is sentimental to the day that they met, as well as two black stars underneath their eyes. Zimmerman moved to Los Angeles to live with Von D. In June 2013, Von D announced that they had ended their engagement.

Kat n Mouse…

 

Avicci

 Avicii DC

Looks like Avicci (Tim Goldberg) actually dated one of DC’s finest, a GWU graduate back in 2012. But these days, the 24-year-old has switched from team blonde to team brunette with his main squeeze, Raquel Battencort. He reportedly bought a 14 million dollar house in LA because Raquel “had to live here”. The home is even called ‘Casa Bettencourt’.


David Guetta

 David Guetta DC

Catherine Lobé, better known as Cathy Guetta, is a French former discotheque manager, events organizer and socialite. She and mega the DJ have worked on music projects during their marriage and have two children, Angie Guetta, and Tim Elvis Eric Guetta. Though recent reports say the couple divorced in March 2014. News of the split comes just a few short years after the couple renewed their vows in August 2012 in Ibiza.

 

Afrojack
 

Afrojack DC

Afrojack has a daughter Vegas (2012) with his ex-girlfriend Amanda Balk. In April 2014 he was linked to Anouk, a Dutch singer-songwriter and producer, who’s currently pregnant with her fifth child.Is it Afrojacks? Don’t forget the DJ also dated miss Paris Hilton back in 2011.

 

Laidback Luke

Laidback Luke DC

After a first marriage, he announced on the maiden voyage of Holy Ship! that he was engaged to Gina Turner and they married on October 1, 2012 at The View, Piermont, New York. Turner is also a DJ and one half of Nouveau Yorican, a musical side project with her husband Laidback Luke, and half of the DJ duo Staccato. She is also the head of Turn It Records. Talk about a match made in musical heaven!

 

Kaskade

Kaskade DC

Kaskade met his wife and fellow snowboarder, Naomi at the University of Utah. Apparently Naomi was hestitant about her husband Ryan Raddon using the name Kaskade as it could remind people of dish detergent. Throughout the years of his success, Ryan and Naomi have maintained their relationship. Currently, they are married and together have three daughters.

Ferry Corsten

Ferry Corsten DC

The Dutch DJ has been married to Lia Colayco since 2010. He talked about Donate And Dance, an evening with popularly known DJ’s to raise money for the victims in the Philippines.

You can see her in action in this video clip from a Dutch daily talk show. You won’t have any clue what they are saying, but it’s still an action shot.

 

Worst Pool Parties Ever

By Peach in Get in Style
Wednesday, May 28, 2014, 2:32pm. (Updated: 5/28/14 at 2:34pm) Add comments
The pool party, a staple of summer fun can quickly turn sinister, or at least become, the worst pool party ever. Don’t believe us? What if your pool party ended with an elephant invasion, a coma, blindness, fat Mermaids and a severed hand?

The No Water in the Pool Party

DC Summer Pool Party

“Water appears to be a critical element in the enjoyment of aquatic style parties. I can tell you that the ‘no diving’ signs quite possibly saved my life, though.”

I know how much all of you HATE to read, but you MUST read this one lady’s account of her waterless pool party she threw herself when her apartment complex STILL hadn’t fill the pool by June 22.

 

Overcrowded Wave Pool Party

Worst Pool Party Ever

Trying to keep cool amidst a scorching heat wave, the Japanese flock to Tokyo Summerland, a popular water park that’s home to the world’s most crowded wave pool. During the summer, it’s been said that there’s so many people jammed in there that it’s hard to find water (what about pee?) inside the pool! It’s literally a sea of heads.

 

Toxic Cloud Pool Party

DC Pool Party

Seven people fainted, six are ok but one 21-year-old was in a coma.

Say what? Jägermeister threw a pool party in Mexico and dumped liquid nitrogen into the pool. Moments later, limp bodies were dragged out of the pool. Nitrogen displaced oxygen from the air above the pool, leaving none for the swimmers to breathe. The guests were thus inhaling noxious nitrogen gas — and were essentially being asphyxiated.

 

Foam Party

DC Pool Party

A foam party serves no purpose outside of an underage Cancun nightclub or a struggling Frat house where nerds hopelessly try to get to second base with girls drunk on wine coolers. True story!

In a Naples, FL, nightclub, 40 people ended up in the ER after revelers experienced an intense burning in their eyes, plus temporary blindness. “I felt like I had shards of glass in my eyes,” said one 22-year-old. Officials think the soap used wasn’t properly diluted. So much for good, clean fun.

 

A Good-Ol’ Fashioned Severed Hand Party

DC Pool Party

A 34-year-old makeup artist for a theater company had the bright idea to prank his 15-year-old niece by planting a mutilated and severed “hand” in the middle of her birthday party. The Mirror reported that “officers cordoned off the grim scene after horrified neighbors discovered the bloody ‘hand’, which had its finger, chopped off,” and the bloody stump was “put into evidence bags and forensics teams were radioed.” The man later apologized for stirring up such a ruckus, and, presumably, for being the worst uncle in the world.

 

Fat Mermaid Pool Party

DC Pool Party

Mermaids have adorned events at adult parties and entertained at children’s parties for years. But you know what nobody likes, a fat Mermaid. It’s just plain dangerous.

 

Truckin’ Pool Party

DC Pool Party

Have you ever been to a tailgate and seen the fun-loving folks who put a tarp in their truck bed and filled it up with water? While the truck-pool might look like a ton of fun, what you don’t know is that the improvised aboveground is doing a number on your truck.

 

Elephant Crashed My Pool Party

DC Pool Party

Nothing brings a pool party to a halt quite like an elephant draining your pool. But hey at least he didn’t pee in the pool.

But apparently this happens all the time in Africa…

 

Blow-Up Pool Party

DC Pool Party

Living in a concrete jungle doesn’t excuse adults stuffed into an inflatable pool with cans of beer in koozies. There’s no filtration or chlorine so you’re basically stewing in a disease-ridden cesspool and no matter anyone will admit to, someone ALWAYS pees in the pool.

 

Virtual Pool Party

DC Pool Party

Just when you thought the inflatable pool party was possibly the saddest, we hit you with the virtual pool party. There is a whole world out there that is only lived online. Take Sims for example, it’s a virtual world for complete shut-ins and agoraphobics.

 

The Most Annoying Things People Say on Social Media & Beyond

By Peach in Get in Style
Monday, May 19, 2014, 5:55pm. (Updated: 6/12/14 at 5:07pm) Add comments

ENOUGH ALREADY!

It’s annoying, it’s out there, it assaults you on social media and even spills into actual “real” life outside the confines of your computer, it’s why people roll their eyes at you, de-friend you on Facebook, un-follow you on Twitter, and just generally dislike you. It’s the MOST annoying things you have to STOP doing on social media and beyond.

 

That’s what she said

DC Clubbing That's What She Said

This is on the top of the list, quite possibly the one I hear that sends a chill of hatred up my spine at the very mention. We can blame “The Office” and Steve Carrell for Michael Scott’s catchphrase, “That’s what she said”. It’s overused and poorly used.

“I watched Spiderman 2 at the theater today!” Response- “That’s what she said!”

And we all know people who say it after everything someone says, waiting for a high five or a fist pump. Just…don’t.

 

Hashtagging

 DC Clubbing Hashtagging

Damn you Twitter! The hashtag symbol (#) is used as a virtual filing system on Twitter, and should NEVER be used in non-virtual conversations, or on Facebook.

“That hashtag ‘SoulCycle’ workout was hashtag ‘amazing’, but it totally hashtag ‘KickedMyAss’ and did you see that girl’s hashtag ‘BigButt’ in the hastag ‘FrontRow’? It was a total hashtag ‘Throw Back Thursday’ moment!”

 

Willy Wonka vs Dos Equis Guy

 
DC ClubbingDC Clubbing Willy Wonka
There needs to be a boxing match between Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder- 80 years old) and The Most Interesting Man in the World (Jonathan Goldsmith- 75 years old) to duke it out for who is the most OVERUSED photo on text graphic on the web! Who do you think would win?


[Enter choice debasing divider here] Problems

 DC Clubbing White Girl Problems

Everyone’s got problems these days! White girl problems, black girl problems, rich people problems, poor people problems, gay boy problems, and all kinds of problems. Talk about segregation, I thought we were all moving towards equality? But at least there’s one thing people agree on, no matter the race, gender, or sexual orientation we all love to bitch about our issues! Blog bitching #WhiteGirlProblems

 

I Run [“your” city here]

 

But do you really? Are you an elected official? Can they even do anything? What exactly do you run? Because by the looks of the people who typically say this, including, but not limited to at least one reality show character on every reality show ever (especially the Bad Girls Club), you don’t run sh*t! The only thing you’re qualified to run is your own bad decisions right into the ground. Not even the counter at Burger King or maybe a forklift, but probably not. No definitely not heavy machinery.

 

Sunday Funday

DC Clubbing Sunday Funday 

Sunday really made a comeback from the latter known “Lord’s Day” when you’d get in your Sunday’s Best, this may even include a bonnet and head to church or at least grab some cheap pancakes at IHOP. Now’s it’s done a total 180, and reemerged as a booze fueled day of debauchery and lard dripping brunching. Basically an extension of Saturday night, a day you’ll commonly see nightclub zombies roaming the streets in last nights clothes, shameless to the fact they are wearing black pleather pants to the Waterfront. We have no problem with this, but ‘Sunday Funday’ as a term is stupid. It’s right up there with ‘Tuesday Boozeday’ and ‘Winesday Wednesday’, and you know who uses the term ‘Winesday Wednesday’? Kathie Lee Gifford=not cool!

 

Ninjas and Wizards

 DC Clubbing Ninjas

These are words that should never leave the roundtable where you play Dungeons and Dragons in your mom’s basement.

I’m a “Computer Ninja”, “or a PR Wizard”…

Ninja- A ninja (忍者?) or shinobi (忍び?) was a covert agent or mercenary in feudal Japan. The functions of the ninja included espionage, sabotage, infiltration, and assassination, and open combat in certain situations.

Wizard– A man who has magical powers, especially in legends and fairy tales.

That’s all.

 

Food Porn

 

DC Clubbing Food Porn

Food porn, or the doubly annoying #FoodPorn is the pits! Posting pictures of food on social media is acceptable for anyone in the food service industry. We’ll even let it fly for non-industry folk who post a meal they had in a food service establishment, or if you can actually cook something presentable. But the worst is when people cook a homemade meal that consists of boiled chicken, cream corn and a piece of white bread and they think the all greyish beige blob on a paper plate is worthy of a five-star restaurant. Food is not porn, nobody wants to see a banana and a grapefruit doing the nasty, and if you do, you’re sicker than we thought.

 

Gasm

DC Clubbing Eargasm

Which leads us to foodgasms…adding “-gasm” to pretty much any noun doesn’t make sense.

“That DJ, like totally gave me an ‘ear-gasm’!” ßSTUPID

The same goes for foodgasm, travelgasm, and shoegasm, thus the only acceptable is gasm is an Orgasm. I think we can all agree with that one.

 

Watergate it

DC Clubbing Watergate

And lastly, here’s one for the DC nerds. Nixon’s 1970’s f*ck up with the Watergate scandal, has boomeranged it’s way back into pop culture, social media, and political journalism. Get over it!

“Someone broke my back gate and took my shovel. Scandalous. GateGate?”

Nipplegate, Antennagate, Monicagate, Troopergate, #Weinergate, Puppygate

Watergate is a hotel in Washington DC, this makes no sense used in any other way.

 

 

The Most Expensive Drinks in the World

By Peach in Get in Style
Tuesday, May 13, 2014, 8:04pm. (Updated: 5/20/14 at 1:35pm) Add comments
We’ve all heard this conversation before:
 OMG $14 for a drink, that’s crazy, like you could buy a whole bottle of vodka for what 2 drinks cost!

 

Yes, yes you can, and that’s appropriate for a house party, or an alcoholic homeless person, but when you’re at a nightclub, lounge or restaurant in any major city from Tokyo, to London, and NYC to LA, you pay up, because let’s face it, your friend and his iPod don’t stack up to the big time entertainment clubs are pumping through their doors every week.
BUT, if you think your tab is expensive when you hit the clubs, check out some of these ridiculous prices for some of the most expensive drinks and bottles in the World and get ready to max out your credit cards.

 

CHAMPAGNE
Armand de Brignac Midas
$194,275

DC Clubbing Armand de Brignac Midas

The “Ace of Spades” as it’s called is a 30-liter bottle (that’s equal to 40 regular sized bottles) of Armad de Brignac Midas, which doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like Moet (pronounced “mow-ette” not “mow-eh”), or Veuve, but for that price nobody’s judging. Weighing in at 99 pounds (probably the weight of your cocktail waitress) this bottle’s going to need some muscle to get to your table.

VODKA
Diva Vodka
$1 Million

DC Clubbing Diva Vodka

Blinged out in Swarovski crystals that run through the middle of the bottle, and can be used as a garnish for the drink, push this Scotland-based Vodka to the Million-dollar mark! Plus, this alcohol wasn’t made in a prison toilet. It’s ice filtered and then it is passed through Nordic birch charcoal then filtered through sand that contains precious and semi-precious gems.

RUM
Legacy by Angostura
$25,000

 DC Clubbing Legacy by Angostura

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Or some major credit card debt.

From the same company that brought you ‘Angostura Bitters’, which you may only know as some nasty sh*t your great grandmother may have given you to settle your stomach, now lay claim to the ‘Most Expensive Bottle of Rum in the World’. The bottle is housed in an Asprey crystal decanter with a sculpted silver stopper, created and designed by the jewelers to Prince Charles and limited to a minuscule 20 bottles worldwide (a mere three in the U.S).

TEQUILA
Tequila Ley
$3.5 Million

DC Clubbing Tequila Ley Sterling

When you hear about an astounding 6,400 diamonds, weighing in at 415 carats, set into an 8-pound pure platinum setting, you’d probably think some really rich and famous guy just proposed to a really large woman with huge hands, but in this case, it’s the actual bottle this ridiculous tequila comes in. And here we thought Gran Patrón Burdeos, at just $649, and Don Julio Real at $350 was a treat!

BEER
Vieille Bon Secours Ale
$1,000

DC Clubbing Vieille Bon Secours Ale

For this brew, you’ll have to take a trip across the pond. The 12-liter bottle can only be purchased at a bar in London called Bierdrome. This beer has been described as having a complex taste with citric, caramel and toffee flavors with an undertone of licorice and aniseed. It should at least come with an engraved beer koozie for that price.

COCKTAIL
Flawless
$55,000

DC Clubbing Flawless Cocktail

The world’s priciest drink, launched in London in 2007 at Modiva nightclub- It consisted of a large measure of Louis XII cognac, half a bottle of Cristal Rose champagne, some brown sugar, angostura bitters and a few flakes of 24-carat edible gold leaf. Oh and an 11-carat white diamond ring.

Stars spotted at the club have included Prince and Beyoncé. Partygoers who ordered the drink were rewarded with a floorshow, with the drink mixed in front of them, and two security guards.

Some other pricey cocktails you can go in search of are the ‘Diamond is Forever Martini’ (Ritz Carlton, Tokyo- $22,600), ‘The Proposal’ (The Purple Bar, Sanderson, London- $5,293), ‘The Ono Champagne Cocktail’ (XS, Encore Wynn, Las Vegas- $10,000), ‘Martini on the Rock’ (The Blue Bar, Algonquin Hotel, NYC- $10,000), and one more diamond laced cocktail for $50,000 (Reka Restaurant, Moscow).

 

What DJs Have the Best Hair

By Peach in Get in Style
Saturday, April 26, 2014, 9:24pm. (Updated: 5/07/14 at 8:38pm) Add comments
Skrillex Hair

Who is rocking the hottest hair behind the decks? Find out here in our top 10 list of the most memorable manes of the EDM DJ scene.

Best April Fools Pranks

By Peach in Get in Style
Monday, March 31, 2014, 2:42pm Add comments
On the Move

Nothing like a nasty little prank to put a spring in your step and get your loved ones, or enemies’ heart’s racing.

The WTF in DC Fashion & Style

By Peach in Best Dressed, Get in Style
Tuesday, March 25, 2014, 3:32pm. (Updated: 4/02/14 at 5:28pm) Add comments
Gold Cup Hats

Unlike, NYC or Los Angeles, DC isn’t exactly known for it’s trendy fashion sense. Though it does have a unique style all it’s own.

Spring Breakers: What You Will ALWAYS Regret This Spring Break

By Peach in Get in Style
Tuesday, March 4, 2014, 11:42am. (Updated: 3/11/14 at 2:46pm) Add comments
The Spring Break that Never Was

Before you toss your winter duds for that skimpy banana hammock, prepare yourself with the knowledge of those who came before you. Those proud alumni of spring break who have tested the waters, and ate the slimiest of shell fish.

The Best in Spring Breaking EDM Style

By Peach in Get in Style
Thursday, February 27, 2014, 12:03pm. (Updated: 2/27/14 at 12:05pm) Add comments
Puerto Vallarta

Ahhh, spring break, sunshine, alcohol, debauchery, and now some of the best in electronic music, which will ultimately leave you, broke and poisoned, but it’s all worth it.

Designed by DC Nightlife, DC Nightclubs, and DC Clubs.  ©2015 DC Clubbing 1424 K Street NW, Suite 102, Washington, DC 20005. | Privacy Policy