Mastering the Art of Rejection
We’ve all seen this situation before: average Joe walks into a DC Club and tries hitting on a girl. He wants to get her number and likely in her pants. Except she is not interested and doesn’t even give him the time of day.
So how exactly do you get rid of an unwanted guy without being a total b*tch?
This guide has all the answers and best excuses!
Boyfriend
Probably the easiest excuse of them all, yet also very easy to forget.
Don’t have a boyfriend? No problem! Most losers will get the point.
Pregnant
If a guy doesn’t run for the hills after you drop this bomb, he’s gross.
Nothing is creepier than a guy with a fetish for pregnant women.
Pregnant is not sexy. If fat, swollen, and bitchy turns a guy on, he’s even more disgusting than you first thought.
Transvestite
To each his own!
It’s just that most guys will tuck their tails and run away if you suggest you’re packing a bigger member down there than they are.
AIDS (or any communicable disease)
The ONLY way this could possibly backfire is if he also shares the virus. In this case, then you’d ultimately be passing it back and forth.
In most cases this one is a go!
Then again… DC does have the highest HIV/AIDS rates amongst U.S. cities.
Fake Call App
There is a fake call application available for download on most SmartPhones.
This app allows users to select a time in the immediate future to have your phone ring.
Simply open the app as the undesirable approaches; your phone will ring, allowing you to make a flawless exit.
Deaf
No response is sometimes the best way out.
Being deaf is like having a super power. You have your own secret language and rarely have to deal with harassing douches.
Plus, you can “accidentally” slap approachers as attempt sign language.
Gay
This one may turn on a select few, and that’s ok.
However, if you say your dyke-lesbian of a shemale partner is draining her lady lizard in the bathroom and will be back momentarily to beat your poacher’s ass, he will most likely make an early exit.
Escaped from the insane asylum
They say crazy attracts crazy, however it has its limits!
A reference to the insane asylum or your “crazy pills” should do the trick.
Underage and Your Dad is a Police Officer
Nothing kills the mood like statutory rape, especially when her daddy’s a po-po.
A cop-dropper is guaranteed to have stalkers running in the opposite direction.
Then again, he might just think you have a thing for handcuffs and nightsticks!
A Compulsive Hoarder
Few things are scarier than a compulsive hoarder.
If you have not fallen prey to Hoarders on A&E, you’re lucky. Not only are these pigs hoarding anything from dead cats to doll heads… they also seem to be hoarding things on their own bodies, like fat, moles and hair!
If the dude doesn’t run away with this excuse, you can look forward to a very happy life of collecting useless junk together.
Tweet











Live in DC and never been to a single museum or monument? Huh? The White House is in DC?
The water may be a little funky, but boats are a great springtime activity. The
Release your anger from classes and pain in the ass teachers with a game of
No need to book an overpriced flight & hotel for Winter Music Conference or Ultra Fest. Have your own
Pick a sunny day. Grab a group of friends, a
Basically, a hangover is a side effect of being dehydrated.
A good meal can do wonders, particularly if you have it while drinking. But there’s still hope the next morning.
When you get dehydrated, you lose not only water but also electrolytes, including potassium. Too little potassium can lead to cramps, fatigue, nausea, dizziness and heart palpitations.
Ginger is a natural nausea fighter and honey contains fructose, which helps alcohol get broken down faster.
Nobody will fight about this one.
Who wants to get off the couch and exercise while you feel like you are on your deathbed?
This one is
If it says it cures hangovers, it doesn’t cure hangovers.
Since your liver just took a beating like Rodney King, adding acetaminophen to the mix is like kicking someone when they are down. Acetaminophen is by far the most common cause of liver failure in the United States. When combined with alcohol, it can be deadly.
Congratulations!
Propranolol is beta-blocker drug for hypertension that also is commonly used to relieve hangover pain.
In English, this Korean dish literally means
They say soaking in mustard can cure a hangover, but we’re not advising you should spread it all over your body like a hot dog.
Treat your body like your favorite sushi!
Think of it like
We are not suggesting you take a cue from Snooki, but the salt in the water helps you retain water.
If ya go home with Brad Pitt and wake up with Chris Farley, ya probably had beer goggles on last night.
It’s a gift. You can thank your higher power for this one.
Really? It’s that hard to hang on to money that you had to get a piggy bank?
Two kinds of beer muscles:
There’s always someone at the pre-game who doesn’t make it to the bar/club.
The asshole who ruins everyone’s night; usually because of their dumb ass drama, need to discuss politics and religion, or stick-up-their-ass opinion on what it means to have fun.
Shout out to Big L!
Someone who spends
Those who, after a few drinks, discover they have the ability to psychoanalyze and offer
When you drank too much.
People who
Someone who’s shy until last call, at which point they’ll try to
When you wake up after a hard night of partying and look like you were in a boxing match.
Doing the damn thing before you go out! Just don’t ass-out before it’s time to go the club.






Designed by