Bizarre Bacon Products
Bacon. Everything tastes better with bacon. Bacon can be prepared for any meal or occasion. Bacon is scientifically proven to cure hangovers. Epic Meal Time has proven bacon is its own food group. Lady Gaga has proven bacon is a fashion accessory. Former vegans and vegetarians often cite bacon for their carnivorous conversions. Bacon is sweet. Bacon is salty. Bacon is succulent. Bacon is delicious.
Bacon also enjoys a cult-like following and is the demigod of tastefully perverted fan adoration and fanaticism. Everyone loves bacon, however some bacon worshipers have taken things to the next level. You’d be surprised by the amazing amount of ridiculous bacon products that exist, which is why we’ve rounded up a selection of “all things bacon” and compiled the below list!
Bacon Air Freshener
Nothing beats the scent of bacon in the morning! Well… napalm… but that’s another story.
Eliminate car odors and hang this on your front mirror. Sure beats “fresh breeze” scent or fuzzy dice!
Bacon Flavored Coke
Who needs Diet Coke with cherry or lime when you can get your sugar free fix with bacon?
Burger King’s Bacon Sundae
Burger King really wants you to have it your way.
This summer 2012, they rolled out a sundae with vanilla ice cream, chocolate fudge, caramel, and smoked bacon.
Regular mayonnaise just doesn’t cut it anymore these days.
The perfect addition to any BLT or club sandwich.
Bacon Chocolate Bar
Candy bar overkill!
For just over $7, you can feast on this designer candy bar and savor the flavors of bacon dipped in chocolate.
Cheap alternative: eat a Hershey bar and a strip of bacon at the same time.
Ever work in a greasy restaurant and come out smelling like the contents of the kitchen?
Most people don’t like that smell, however if that’s your style, this is your soap!
AKA “man bait.” Women, take note.
Also, just imagine how confused and overjoyed kids would be getting these maple syrup and bacon lollipops in their Halloween baskets!
It’s like doing shots of bacon grease, except not really!
The Baltimore Sun describes Bakon Vodka as having a “robust, meaty aroma that pleased the palate, grounded by a sharp undercurrent of liquor.”
Bacon Toilet Paper
What goes in must come out. You can still smell glorious after wiping off with bacon toilet paper.
Why? Cuz pooping doesn’t have to be all business.
Bacon Flavored Mints
Need to freshen up your breath before a hot date? Unless your date likes the scent of swine, you probably not want these mints.
They taste like crispy bacon with a hint of mint.
Tired of good ole Betty Crocker boxed cake mixes and the local bakery’s assortment?
Change things up and “eat… like… a pig” at your next birthday!
After eating all of the above bacon products, you’ll probably need to brush your teeth.
Mint flavor? What’s that? Bacon, baby!
If you’re one of those people who only flosses before a dentist appointment, consider picking up some bacon floss.
You’ll probably start flossing twice a day on a regular basis.Tweet