How to Make the Girls Scream
Contributing Writer Amanda Hanowitz
Ever ask yourself, “Why can’t I be like Justin Bieber?” Maybe you haven’t, but you should! Kid’s got swag like nobody’s business. Resist as you may, following Bieber’s lead may just get you a one way ticket to the lady of your dreams.
Urban Dictionary calls swag “the way in which you carry yourself… made up of your overall confidence, style, and demeanor.” Bieber is comprised of many aspects that make up his perfect swagged out composition.
16% The Hair
He was infamous for the ‘skater boy’ hair til he chopped it off and sold it on Ebay. Now he rocks the ultimate swag shag ‘do. His messy hair is intentionally imperfect, and perfect is what it is.
19% Flawless Complexion
There is not one imperfection atop that beautiful face. Even girls envy his complexion.
He knows how to rock a graphic tee and skinny jeans, something every man should strive for.
Bieber is one of the most confident people around. Maybe cause he’s like the most important person in the world to females 8 – 20. Maybe it’s his 23M+ twitter followers. Whatever the reason, Bieber glows and rocks confidence from every crevice of his body.
9% The Crotch Grab
I ask you this simple question: what do you remember Michael Jackson for? His nose, yes, but wouldn’t you also immediately think of the crotch grab? This is crucial for any rising star.
(editor’s note – LOL)
How to embrace your inner Bieber
- To get his flawless complexion, try some face wash. It can be found for a very inexpensive price at your local drug store
- Buy some new clothes, preferably some fresh graphic tees.
- Go to your barber and say, “Hello, I’d like to get the Bieber today.” They’ll know what you mean.
(editors note – they’ll also make fun of you for the rest of your life… so go to a salon)
- For the crotch grab, we suggest practicing in front of the mirror before bringing it into the public. A crotch grab gone bad could do serious damage to your social life.
- Lastly, but certainly not least, confidence. This is key. Don’t overdo it. No one likes a cocky kid. Be subtle, allow your swag to do the talking. Walk the walk and talk the talk, but don’t trip or stutter.
In conclusion, like him or not, Bieber’s got it goin’ on. If you chose to ignore our advice, then so be it. Good luck. But for those of you intelligent enough to try to embody the Bieber, go forth young swagster. You could be a gentleman, anything she wants, never let your swag go.Tweet