Mirror Madness: The Art of Douchey Self-Portraits

By Peach in Get in Style, Lifestyle
Tuesday, June 5, 2012, 7:50pm. (Updated: 6/20/12 at 9:03am) Add comments

Myspace Photos 2.0

Facebook is a self-indulgent social media vehicle that speaks volumes about your character without saying a word. The old saying, “a picture is worth a thousand words,” is definitely true when it comes to Facebook photos!

Do people really care about your beer pyramid, DJ studio, or latest dinner out? NO!Mirror Douche

Even the above Facebook offenses are easy to overlook in comparison to the most obnoxious social media content ever: the SELF INDULGENT DOUCHE mirror self-portraits!

Things you’ll see in a Facebook self-portrait:

  • Excessive tanning and tattoos
  • Roided out gym pictures
  • Crotch grabs and whale tail
  • Flash bulb reflections and glares
  • Fish faces
  • Pregnant women… yes, big bellies
  • Girls with white-blonde hair and black extensions peaking out (the zebra tresses)
  • Ed Hardy galore – from tipped hats to tiger dresses

If you think a self-portrait mirror shot makes you look cool, original, or desirable, you have been severely mislead.

Mirror Self PortraitsWhat leads to a mirror shot?

If you have a conventional routine, you typically wake up, get ready for work or school, eat breakfast, answer some emails, and check Facebook before heading out the door.

When in that limited time does someone decide it’s time for a photo shoot in the bathroom with the trusty iPhone?

Well, if you’re a narcissist…

Glamour Shot vs. Mirror Pics

Glamour Shot

Remember that mall phenomenon, “The Glamour Shot?” AT LEAST a Glamour Shot session involves a photographer and room without a toilet in the background!

Why do you have 2000 Facebook “friends” and not a single one can take a photo for you? If you can’t find a friend to take a picture of you, perhaps it’s time to get out of the bathroom and meet people who don’t live on Facebook. The least you could do is put up some clean folded towels and wipe the pubes from the sink.

Who, me?
16 and pregnant

$20 to the first person who can guess my age!

Sometimes the actual posers aren’t the worst. Rather, it’s the dumb expression on their face as they look off in the distance, as if to say, “I was caught off guard!”

Wow, what a surprise! “I didn’t know I was even taking a picture of myself, even though my hand is caught literally on camera, in the mirror!”

If you MUST take a mirror picture, consider these easy enhancements:

  • Camera with self-timer function
  • Tripod
  • Remote-control shutter release
  • Lighting

So the next time you bench 200 lbs at the gym, get all slutty before hitting the DC’s hottest club, or bought that new Ed Hardy hat, practice some self control in front of that mirror and save it for the club photogs!

 

One Response to “Mirror Madness: The Art of Douchey Self-Portraits”

  1. dianne lindsey says:

    THANKYOU

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