Say ‘Goodbye Dignity’ & ‘Cheese’ for the Camera!
Scroll through any DC Nightlife photo album and you’re guaranteed to encounter the Zoolanders, wanna-be Paris Hiltons, and a plethora of fish faced, doggy-style, peace-loving teapots highlighted in this guide.
Is it the alcohol? A false sense of self? Who cares: it’s entertaining!
The Duck Face
Also commonly called the “fish face.” Pucker up and show off those meaty DSL’s!
Strike this pose and it looks like you went down on an exhaust pipe. Seriously, you’re not Angelina Jolie.
The Girl on Girl
Now is your chance to how the world how much you love your gal pals!
Maybe it’s a hug or a kiss. Or even a game of ‘hide the imaginary sausage!’
Dying for world peace? Turning Japanese? On your way to dig wells in Nigeria or adopt a Russian orphan? Probably not.
Two more vodka tonics and you’ll be screaming at your boyfriend for looking at another girl before dragging that b*tch to a back alley and throwing up in the dumpster yourself. So much for peace!
You know who else flashes the peace sign?
The Double Kiss
The male dream: “Here comes the camera guy. Quick, both of you hotties kiss me on the cheek!”
The male reality: “I’ll buy you girls a drink if you take a picture with me for my Facebook page!”
The Blow Me a Kiss
Yep, you also just blew one to that fat, old pervert who’s trolling the internet for young girls.
With the help of a little lotion, he will think you blew him a lot more than just a kiss!
The Gratuitous Boob Shot
Have you see my fun bags? That’s right: I get free entry AND drinks at clubs thanks to these puppies!
Arm on hip: check. Push butt back: check. Pretend I’m Paris Hilton: check.
After-hours fling in the trailer park: absolutely.
The Rear View
Slowly crane your neck and pretend you’re elegant. Put your best foot forward and pop that ass!
Very popular pose for hiding a blemish or if you’re Harvey Dent.
“I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.
And I plan on finding out what that is.”
These puckered-up mug shots MUST be intentional, unless you dig the ‘I just sucked a lemon’ face!
The bastard child of the teapot. Settle down, Charlie Horse!
Are you modeling a new line of Dr. Scholl’s or waiting to burp a baby on your knee?Tweet