Alcohol, the social lubricant, bless thee for giving us the courage to make mundane tasks fun. To embarrass us endlessly. The toxic sauce which leads to uncomfortable walks of shame, credit card debt, awkward pictures on Facebook from nights spent in the DC clubs, and karaokes not soon forgotten. You’re always there to lift us up and kick us harder when we are down! But for all your short comings, you’re always the friend who asks for nothing in return.
So you think you can dance? Nothing like a little liquid courage to get your dancing feet going! Liquor can loosen up those two left feet until your king of floor. Might regret those Facebook photos of your bump n grind the next morning but at least you had fun.
Much like dancing, add a few drinks and everyone is bum rushing the mic to sing their favorite rendition of “Born to be Wild”.
Ever have a really ‘deep’ conversation with someone while you are drunk? Spilling your guts about your latest one nightstand while they go on and on giving you unsolicited advice until the wee hours of the morning? It goes both ways people!
After a few rounds, it seems perfectly normal to text your ex boyfriend, call your grandmother, and tweet sexual pictures of your night out…right?
Drunk sex is great, isn’t it? Or maybe you just think you are being sexy? Or maybe, wait did we even have sex?
Would any sober person think it’s fun trying to flip a quarter into a glass for a few hours, or throw a needle at a cork board?
Stupid Human Feats
Get that special toxic concoction running through your veins and suddenly embarrassing or life threatening feats seem like a good idea. Quick take my picture planking! Let’s go sky diving or jump off this cliff…. <SPLAT>
More booze=less clothes
Forget that FUPA all of the sudden I feel like I need to show off my blubber gut to the whole club! It’s always the pasty hipster or the fat ass who get this memo…
Ever feel like you could barely count to 20 during your Spanish classes in middle school. Then a couple drinks deep you are fluently rattling off your monologue about how much fun you had this summer with ……
Plans and Promises
Ever run into that old friend, maybe you squealed and told each other how much you missed each other, made plans to go to the beach, and go kayaking, and start a book club and … never gonna follow through. Or those who take it to the next level entirely, get married in Vegas Britney Spears style, or with three rabid rednecks as shown below.
Shopping is never a smart thing to do drunk. Wonder why they serve champagne in designer stores or bridal boutiques? To get you drunk and spend more money. Got the munchies? Grocery stores are no exception, someone is always going to go flying down the isle in a grocery cart and spilling over into the meat cooler.