Bad Pickup Lines
You’d be a liar if you said you’ve never gone to a bar or nightclub at least once without trying to “get some action.” Most men are guilty of this. Surprisingly, so are most women, even those who always claim they “just want to dance.”
Even still, despite the new social norms found in our forward-thinking 21st century society, men still have to “spit some game” and do most of the initial “work” to get the ladies. So without divulging the secrets of the perfect pickup, let’s focus on what guys should NOT say when meeting new women:
The Stupid Questions
What Do You Do?
This screams: I HAVE NO GAME WHATSOEVER, PLEASE HAVE MERCY AND F*** ME!!!
What’s Your Major?
Do you really want to sound like a drunk college freshman on the first week of school?
Where Are You From?
Save this for later… unless you’re a stalker.
Can I Buy You A Drink?
Buying her a drink does not also buy her attention. Usually, she will thank you for the drink and leave. Sucker!
Do You Have a Boyfriend?
If she has a boyfriend she cares about, she’ll tell you. Otherwise, she’s single or simply DTF.
Do you Come Here Often?
Perhaps the most desperate, boring, unimaginative you can say to any woman. Anywhere.
The Moronic Pickup Lines
You must be tired because you’ve been running through my head all night!
Creep alert. You’ve never met and she’s the only thing on your mind? Yikes!
Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.
“Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy… but I’m an idiot! So call me, maybe?”
Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven…
No, but it will probably hurt when she slaps you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
99.9% women are not looking for “love” at a bar or club, no matter what they say when they’re drunk. Period.
Do you like raisins? How about a date?
Do you like provolone? Cuz that was really cheesy!
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
Translation: “Let’s f***!” Unless she’s a dirty whore, she will probably avoid you for the rest of the night.
From the Horse’s Mouth
Our amazing dancers, cocktail waitresses, hostesses, and bartenders get hit on every night. They’re also seasoned veterans at detecting bullshit pickup lines and fending off weirdos.
Here’s some of their “best of the worst” pickup lines:
Are you willing to sell your underpants for $100?
You Butterfree up your schedule cuz I’ll Beedrillin’ you later!
How many guys here hit on you every night?
You’re hot. Come to the bathroom with me.
The Bottom Line
Don’t be that guy. Nobody likes “that guy.”